“What an absurd time to announce your candidacy for office. The election is still three years away!”

- Dikki Jo Mullen

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I wear the pants in this family!

- Ken Culotta

The Policeman’s Benefit Banquet took an unfortunate turn after the prune danish kicked in, sending everyone looking for an unoccupied lavatory.

Ron Johnson

“No, I don’t see anything in your eye. Maybe your husband here can see it.”

 - Ron Johnson