Girl: “Pick me up at 8 and don’t be late!”
Mom: “Now Pam, I told you a thousand times… you are too young to date!”

- Nancy

My Fish-Monger asks if I can tell the difference between the regular fish and the new ‘light’ fish with 30% less fishiness.

- Aaren Fiedler

“BlackPants Mulligan” was disqualified from boxing after officials noticed that he had a third arm. “I didn’t know it was there,” he pleaded to the boxing committee.

- Sandy Huff

Women Feigns Attacking Baby!
Peoria Illinois- A woman was walking down the street when suddenly a baby leapt from its carriage and tried to attack her. The woman, who was not injured, was quoted as saying, “AAAHHH!”. The baby is being raised by wolves and has been quarrantined for rabies evaluation.

- Ken Culotta